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cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

peanutbutterandsquats:

lilyredneck:

dut-dut-goose:

queenofferrets:

juzanotherblog:

new bra from victoria secret! :) 

A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:

“Lettuce fuck.” 

I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.

It has a little lettuce bow.

I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god

(Source: justinbiebergoth)

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